Sunday, August 5, 2012

FoodNoob: Meals 1-3

While not really day #1. It's when I was invited to the blog. So let's start counting meals here. Remember each one counts.

Meal #1 - Cheerios & Eggs!

The day began with cheerios! Breakfast of champions. It was served up to my daughter. We also served up some eggs. Scrambled. You can make them very easily. 

Step #1: Crack eggs!
Step #2 Drop in pan. 
Crap! There is a step before #1. OK step #0
Step #0: Heat pan and apply some fat like oil or butter. Then wait.
Step #3: Stir eggs and wait till yellow and fluffy

My daughter normally loves them.

Meal #2 - Sandwiches!

I went to the supermarket. They have a deli. I love delis. I can handle a deli. I am from the east coast. So deli's are like home. I ordered some smoked ham sliced super thin. Then blazing hot chicken. It was not blazing but those cold cuts were hot. And I surprised my wife with prosciutto. Some imported swiss cheese and a loaf of bread. 

Then came the mustard. I love mustard. I mean love it. I had some ingerhoffer, some honey hot and sweet. No goddamn guldens' I have standards.

The bread was a problem. I bought to much and it got stale quickly. Damn french loaf. I was raised in germany and I miss the bakeries every at ten feet intervals there. 

Yesterday we all ate sandwiches. Today my wife ate the sandwich. The food was left over. 

My daughter and I cheated today and ate sushi at a restaurant while doing errands. 

Meal #3 - Sausages.
I bought some chicken apple sausage. And then some hot ones. I forgot what they were. Maybe italian. They were red. They brought back bad memories for me. And I could not touch them. What memories?

When I was five my dad hated to cook. He still does. He could make hot dogs and pretty much nothing else. One day he told us that hot dogs were made of pig tushie, knuckles and poop. Ever since I cannot eat hot dogs or sausages that remind me of hotdogs. Also my dad never had to cook for us again. Genius.

Then I had to get the grill working. I have not turned it on for years. I went to the store to get the right propane cable. I bought one. It was not the right one. I went to another store. It was the right one! I turned on the grill. It did not turn on. I fiddled with things while wondering if this was going to be my last living moments. Then it worked!

Next I found cauliflower in the fridge and I fried it up. I poured some oil in the pan (after heating) and then chopped up some ginger. How does anyone get the goddamn skin off the ginger and still get ginger? It's like frikkin impossible. Hell no one noticed there was some ginger skin in the pan. I threw in the cauliflower. And then poured some dark sauce that was in the fridge. I have no idea what it was but it was like soy sauce. 

It turned out great!

I served it in the back yard, and got my wife a lemonade. 

My daughter ate the cauliflower plus some pata I made for her with "sprinkle cheese". This is a cheese my wife has that I grated as she did. My daughter loves it. I cut my fingers but no blood got in the cheese.


My daughter liked the cauliflower and the pasta! All were white color and that is what she likes to eat. White colored food.

My wife liked the sausages! She told me the real way to cook cauliflower. It involves an oven which scares the bejeezus out of me. All I know about ovens is that Sylvia Plath died in one.

I am now searching for recipes and will hate safeway around 1AM to buy the next set of groceries.

No comments:

Post a Comment